The short version

Tomi Toluhi is a relationship coach committed to helping single and married people cultivate great love relationships. She has been in love with the same man for twenty-seven years, and married to him for twenty of those years. The insights she shares are born out of her experience of what works and what doesn’t. For over fifteen years she has shared practical wisdom laced with great humour as a keynote speaker in major conferences, seminars and workshops. Her weekly blog answers the tough questions people are asking about love and relationships. She is the author of several books including Making Your House a Home, Touch Me…Touch Me Not and her latest book Get Real: The myths and realities of finding and keeping love.

Tomi oversees Relateplus, an organisation dedicated to helping people acquire the skills needed for great relationships. She holds Masters Degrees in Architecture and Human Resources Management. She is a certified facilitator of the SYMBIS Assessment, an award-winning premarital assessment tool for couples considering marriage. She lives in London, United Kingdom with her husband Martins and their teenage daughters Oyin and Ayo.

220815-6.255DGMy Story – The longer version, as told by Tomi

Hi, I’m Tomi. I’m passionate about helping people succeed in their relationships.

When I was seventeen I had a life-changing conversation with God. I made it clear that I would rather remain single than face a future of misery in an unhappy marriage. Then under my breath I whispered a prayer that was a game-changer for me. ‘But Lord, if marriage could possibly be the best gift that you have ever given me in Christ, show me how to make it work.’ This was the beginning of a lifelong quest to understand relationships.

My journey of discovery led me to study the Bible and read hundreds of books and articles on love and marriage. The more I studied, the more I realised that there was so much I didn’t know. It also became clear to me how much misinformation was out there and how vulnerable we are to building our lives on misguided beliefs. There is a huge chasm between many of the myths we have believed about love, and the reality of loving like God intended. When myth and reality collide, we end up with the inevitable consequence – the demise of a relationship.

I don’t believe anything happens by chance. Life is cause and effect. I believe we all need strategies to succeed at love. Relationships and marriage require skills that don’t come naturally to anyone but can be learnt. More people fail at love from lack of knowledge than lack of commitment. My husband, Martins, and I are acutely aware that our marriage would not be nearly as happy as it is today if we didn’t know what we know.

That’s why I’ve devoted the past fifteen years to sharing what I’ve learnt about love and relationships. I hope that opening up to you will help you on your way towards experiencing the fulfilment of a great relationship. This is what drives me.

My goal is to provide relevant, practical guidance which you can put to work immediately and gain results. If you understand that great relationships don’t just happen but someone makes them happen, is for you. I typically post weekly so to be sure you don’t miss out subscribe and you will receive my free e-book ‘Making Love Last Forever’ as a bonus.

I also have a weekly YouTube show, Tomitalks TV, which covers similar topics as my blog. If you have a question which you would like me to address on Tomitalks TV, you can ask it here. You can also contact me via email or follow me on Facebook or Twitter. Drop me a line – I would love to connect with you.